"Tonights top story. A tentacled Space monster has been terrorizing the spaceways surrounding the Earth. It has repeatedly attacked ships carrying young attractive females and then precedes to have it's way with them. The worst of these incidents was the attack on a Japanese tourist shuttle, carrying students and faculty from an all girls highschool who were on their way to the moon. Several governments are formulating plans to capture this creature before it can make another attack. And now to Bill with Weather."

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"--Help Wanted--
Seeking young attractive female EVA specialist for important space mission. Must meet physical requirements for mission and be comfortable with extended amounts of EVA time. For mission details contact COL Jeff Jefferson at #(xxx)xxx-xxxx."

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Captain:
What was all the commotion back here?
Crewmember:
The girl started getting really uncooperative once she found
out we needed her to be bait, sir.
Captain:
How the hell didn't she know that!?! She was at the damn mission briefing.
Crewmember:
I think she feel asleep during the mission briefing, sir, and
she didn't ask until she was all suited up. We couldn't delay
the mission sir.
Captain:
How'd you get her to calm down?
Crewmember:
Oh, we didnt, sir. We locked the harness for the safety wire
around her arms and I shoved a ballgag in her mouth.
Captain:
What were you doing with a ballgag on a mission?
Crewmember:
Um... I'd rather not say, sir.

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XD